1. |
Cellophane
03:52
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when i finally caved and let myself love you it was spring and summer and winter and fall and i wanted to draw you in closer to me so i scarcely spoke at all and you laughed at me as i whispered my words cause i was dizzy from holding my breath and the whole world never noticed and no one got upset.
the stars when you see them from under the sea look like fishing weights seen through bars and the points that you make are so perfectly pointed and balance the weight of those stars and who whether which why how where what and when are like acid on gashes on scars that the world inflicts upon us when it finds out what we are.
if you believed me or even could see me i'd know by now but we're all of us choking up something we love that we can't keep down we rise to the surface suspended on currents i still can't fly i don't care that i don't even try i don't care that you don't ask me why i don't care that my sins are like cellophane i don't know why.
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2. |
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you build bridges in my mind castles out of time visions when i'm blind
and you can look me in the eye hold me when i cry and brace me as i try
to scale these walls of urgency that rise so very high
and rip the flesh from all i see forever by my side
you see past all that i seem and know all that i've been and know all that i dream
and you hear every breath i take and each mistake i make and every time i ache
to span my inconsistencies that arch so very wide
and rest content with what i need forever by your side
if love were made of horses we'd have such a cavalry
that all the armies of the earth would shake
i know lying here within your arms will be the death of me
but i wouldn't have it any other way
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3. |
Quantizing The Ephemeral
07:17
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worlds fly at light speed there's never solid ground
and i'm on a spiral staircase of shifting waters down
a cavalcade of changes that brings me to my knees
a perfect point of entry that only pain sees
if you were a compass and i were a graph
is there a hand that could plot out a map
of the derivates and tangents defining a plane
that has no constants and no domain
but it was never anything more than a stone that was thrown
from a careless hand
that quickly turned to something else
and it skipped three times
and then slid below the surface.
to pinpoint a quotient and fix it in place
requires constant motion that accelerates
with each breath you draw new dimensions are made
with each tear i cry worlds are burned
waste is laid
if i were a vortex and you were the void
and all that dared stand in our path were destroyed
and from all that chaos a pattern emerged
would you hold and refine it
where limits converge
but it was never anything less
than a perfect prime sublimely expressed
that followed exactly the slope of the line
of space and time
and pierced me like a siren.
from abstract to affine from constant to change
a function of fluxions an infinite range
discrete by mere brackets of blood bone and thought
forced into an order where conscience is wrought
if i am the cosine and you are the arc
and Cartesian logic exists in each quark
then measured in microns and mapped in each charge
as the void draws each breath
its effects loom so large
but it was meant to be nothing more
than a breath death took when it saw itself
recoiling in horror then rising again
to look one more time
with a sudden sense of wonder
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4. |
Sheron
04:45
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when it's all over and you finally take a breath
and there's no one there to speak your name
just be glad that the world still exists
to take your attention away
the way i see it is you might as well regress
to when the world was not so grey
to when you loved the thought that all that burns bright
must someday fade away.
sooner or later if you run it hard enough
the thing that does the damage has to break
and then it's just like taking off your wedding dress
you freeze the top part of the cake
but down inside you there's a voice that wont be still
and it will never go away
that says great joy often brings greater pain
the world just works that way.
and when forgiveness comes it's hard to recognize
for it turns inward on itself
and it's complexity pervades so many things
it sometimes seems like something else
a glistening glaze of ice that inhumes all the world
and it's so painful to touch
a fine tuned finely wrought and crystalline desire
that cost so very much.
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5. |
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They all ran down there to see what i found
a huge chunk of ice lay washed up on the ground
a great ugly bird floated in on the tide
you could see him frozen there inside
they called in the army and roped off the beach
the mayor appeared on the news with a speech
saying people don't panic this happens all the time
the scientists are coming in it's fine.
I wait til midnight and slide down the drainpipe
and wait in the yard with a rope
and he's there waiting for me and he's bigger than reality
and he turns to gaze upon me
and his eyes are like kaleidoscopes.
My heart's a season that no one can brave
and i don't proselytize cause i can't think that way
my heart's a daydream that fades with the light
a pterodactyl in flight.
My love's a monster who sleeps in the sea
and you can't let him out if you don't have the key
your manic obsessions are real more than time
but the scientists are coming in it's fine.
From out of the darkness there's a watcher to guard us
with hands reaching out toward the light
and when i falter i hear him call me
to draw me back in to the night.
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6. |
Saint
02:33
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If you make it through this with your values intact
i don't think you'll ever know why
but it's a miserable altar that gives you the chance
to kiss the injustice goodbye.
Do you look at the world through the eyes of a saint
do you move with the grace of a dove
if ever you want it my offer still stands
and it's not like it's that kind of love.
So you sat with breath bated and waited for what
for a test that could prove what you're worth
and i laugh at your rectitude fortitude turpitude
thinking you're not of this earth.
For those who die martyrs are those who dissent
just to blaze in the spotlight of hate
it's never their ethics that make them repent
and i hope you don't learn it too late.
If you made it through this with your faith still intact
perhaps you don't need to know why
but i gave at the office to give you the chance
to kiss the injustice goodbye.
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7. |
Apostrophe
06:12
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I only asked you to be honest anyway
i never took you to be kind
i never thought that you would finally find me here
through all the garbage in my mind
they say the time it took to get to where we are
is something no one else would do
i keep expecting you to change your mind or be unkind
and i'm afraid you want me to.
You ask about the fire that burns outside my door
it's only there to carry me away and nothing more
it's only there because it's almost all that's left of me
it's not the threat you seem to see
for i could never while away an idle hour
pulling punches that can't land
and everything i see just makes me an apostrophe
and leaves me deaf to your demands.
But nothing matters if you think it's make believe
and i can't stop you when you know it's time to leave
and all the days we spent were hours
handed back to those who live in ivory towers.
This endless frozen sea
is sterile creativity
but nothing matters if you think it's make believe.
It gets repetitive and also pretty trite
we're always almost there but something's never right
I keep expecting you to fail to find my infant mind
but nothing much escapes your sight
but my idea of hell is to dwell in mediocrity
watching waiting dying now and then
and your apostrophe surrounded by hypocrisy
must wait for you to take me up again.
But nothing matters if you think it's make believe
and i can't stop you when you know it's time to leave
and all the days we spent were hours
but that's what happens when you live in ivory towers.
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8. |
Kindergarten
03:18
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I had no business being in the high school lobby
in the hallway so shiny with glass and linoleum
but those bright leaves made a tunnel for me
i thought i could walk straight through from end to end.
Why do such bright leaves on wet concrete
send my hand flying to find that grey rail
your transoms are open wide to the oh yeah daylight
come on bright paper turkeys no drugstore retail.
I heard he was a snitch
he made his living at the downtown Safeway
and with his body he walked so oddly
i'm not quite sure what there is to say.
And when those bricks were swooping down upon me
i really hoped the plastic bag would hold
i banged on the lobby door i didn't have the key for
i had my spike
the wet grey rail was cold.
But now i'm through with such matriculation
and i can walk the oh yeah daylight tunnel of leaves
stark for sure but i'll accept no imitation
and look at paper turkeys through the trees.
I had to be a bitch
he tried to say he was a class act felon
he lost the only hat i ever knit
i mean what more could there be to say?
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9. |
Epithalamion
04:45
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your return to me after all that's passed
is a testament to your will
and the permanence of an undying love
that no earthly force can kill
a flux of fated forces
that bind us into one
a perfect cloth is woven
that cannot be undone.
If this ring on my hand is a bright silver key
and this day is the gate it unlocks
what a marvelous journey will come to unfold
through this gate on the path we will walk
if you are the candle and i am the match
and our love is the flame that burns bright
then i know that the hand that ignited the blaze
bathes the corners of knowledge in light.
And it's meant to be everything up
from the smallest drop to the top of the cup
and the days that pass of sunshine and rain
are up so floating many bells down again.
To pinpoint an ascent aligned in it's sphere
an endless conjunction an affine appears
approaching the Vertex ellipses arise
and dance in an orbit held fast in your eyes.
If the stars in the sky are the tears of my joy
and the moon is my heart shining bright
then your love is the song that the universe sings
and your honor the clearest of nights.
If i were the aspect and you were the trine
and all of the planets and stars were aligned
and out of that order a pattern emerged
would you hold and refine it where aeons converge.
And it's meant to be everything down
from the reaches of Heaven to deep underground
a limitless logos of Memory and Thought
a cosmos wrought of strength and truth and meaning.
And it was never anything less
than the breath that life breathed into death
gazing upon it with infinite love
to manifest the continuum into being.
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Nora Candey Portland, Oregon
Nora Candey was a multi-instrumentalist and songwriter who passed away in 2020. ALL proceeds from sales here will go toward the Nora Candey Songwriting Grant established in her memory through the Oregon Bluegrass Association.
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